You guys..we made it through to the other side of surgery today! Words cannot express how grateful I am for each and every one of you. Your messages, your thoughts, your prayers...all of it. The build up to this day was excruciating. The research, the appointments, the fears, the guilt..and then last night a peace came over us..we felt calm for the first time since November. We trusted our team of doctors and we knew there was nothing more we could do but believe it would all be okay.
Hudson's surgery was scheduled for 8:30 am with us to arrive at 6:30. We didn't sleep all that well but better than expected and were anxiously on our way out the door by 5:30. Upon our arrival and admittance, everything moved very quickly! We waited in the holding area for about 45 mins before the Porter came to take us into the surgery holding suite. We said goodbye to our support crew of grandmas and aunties and I carried my little man in. The nerves were full and it took everything I had to keep the tears from falling in front of my baby. I was blown away by Hudson's team! Not only did surgery start at 8 am (earlier than expected), but the ENTIRE team stood there, waiting for us! The surgeons, the nurses, the anesthesiologist ..they all came to is and eased our worries, answered our questions and made it as easy as possible!
The time came to hand Hudson over for surgery and I could feel the tears welling up inside. All my fears were coming out at rapid pace ..the moment I had dreaded was here.. despite my best efforts I began to cry in front of Hudson when I saw him start to cry as they took him away from me. It was as if my heart had been ripped out from my chest to see him go away. I left that room in a daze with my husbands arms around me as the tears began to fall..
What happened next was the waiting game..a mixture of happy conversation and endless staring at the screen for an update on Hudson's progress. The surgery took just under 4 hours and both the surgeons came out to sit with us and answer any questions we had after they informed us that Hudson had breezed through his surgery like a champ. No blood transfusions yet, no problems..he was waking up and would be in the ICU within the hour!
Tears fell again for us but these were different..tears of joy and relief and all of a sudden a huge, huge weight lifted from our shoulders. We did it. Our little boy made it and we were finally on the other side. What a beautiful day it turned out to be ;)
The first glance we got of our son, I was nervous to round that corner yet, once again, blown away by his progress! There were no bandages, no steri-strips..just a beautiful incision from one ear to the other and a perfectly rounded head! He was asleep and looked angelic to us..my beautiful, beautiful boy!
Since we first saw him at 1:00, we have watched him sleep, open his eyes and engage with us a little, he's fussed a little but mostly out of hunger and is drinking a mixture of pedialyte and apple juice for now (and loving it!!) his swelling is slowly increasing, poor guy looks a bit like a pumpkin but still drinking , still watching us with calm eyes and even gave us a little smile tonight!! So, so proud of my little boy and cannot believe his utter strength! The night nurse tonight is so sweet and looking after us in the best way possible, even waived the "one parent through the night" rule and pulled in a recliner for Adam!!
So here we are, the end of Day 1 and couldn't be happier. When Hudson cries, his voice is hoarse from the breathing tube but he's still our boy. He's still here..his head may look different but my Hudson is still here. Thank god for that!!
We're turning in for the night, hoping Hudson can get a good nights sleep (as well as a good sleep for us!) I will be back tomorrow to update you all on our Day 2 (which we are expecting to be a little rougher with the swelling and pain) so again..thank you all so much for your kindness and comfort you have provided us these last few days..no words could ever express our gratitude!!