They are starting to take the Christmas decorations down here around the hospital. I noticed it as I walked passed all the units to grab a change of clothing for Adam & I. To me, it was a symbol of putting December away for the year..a month of fears and worries and finally moving on to a bright new year. It made me utterly hopeful. I have been feeling overwhelmed these last few days..the weight off our shoulders has given me time to relax and finally feel all the emotions properly. I can't tell you how lucky I feel. Everything has gone so smoothly, the doctors and nurses have been amazingly kind to all of us and each time I grab my phone, it's filled with messages of love and support. I truly don't know how we became so blessed.
Last night was another good night for us. Hudson's swelling had peaked and he looked something out of a movie. It breaks my heart to see him like this bit it amazes me how well he is handling it! Can you imagine waking up with a searing pain in your skull and not being able to see or communicate anything? How would you handle it? I guarantee you I wouldn't have a tenth of the grace Hudson has. He's resilient and strong and blows me away at every cornerstone.
We had another super night shift nurse who worked swiftly and quietly and barely woke us each time she came in to check on Hudson. Hudson only cried if he was being bugged by a nurse a little too much but mostly he would sleep or quietly play with his eeyore. At one check in, the nurse found Hudson on his belly, at the end of the crib! Our boy is coming back to us ;)
This morning Hudson has been sitting up and playing lots. His eyes are starting to open a little bit and he's able to see us again and follow us around the room. He's eating solids a little at a time and being spoiled on apple juice often. Babies, you guys...are simply amazing!
It seems as though every hour Hudson's swelling has reduced little by little. By 11:30, you could see both eyes, slivers still but it was the baby blues none the less! He wanted to sit up and play and loved following us around with his eyes, taking in the room for the first time ever.
After lunch, the last of his lines were finally removed! Gone was the morphine and the endless beeps of monitors, our boy was free at last! First thing we did was put one of his favourite sleepers from home on him and carry him to the window to look out unto the world. Ever so slowly we are feeling normal again and it makes me want to burst with happiness!
At lunch today, Adam and I sat and talked about everything we have gone thru in our short 3.5 years of marriage and when we asked each other if we knew then what we know now, would we have chosen differently? The answer was a resounding NO. Our life is real. It's imperfect and messy and beautiful..it's ours and every day it leaves us feeling exhausted but happy..and isn't that what life should be about? Facing the obstacles head on and focusing on what's good and right.
As I write this, Adam is singing Hudson to sleep and the hospital is silent. Rumours are floating of a possible discharge tomorrow already and, although caring for him on our own does worry us a bit, I am so so excited to get him home and on to the road of recovery. 2015...we are ready!
ETA: Hudson went down for a nap around 5:00 pm and Adam and I headed down for supper while grandma stood watch. When we arrived back up in our room, we were greeted by a much wider eyed boy who was playing, smiling and intent to see everything he could. Tonight has been such a turnaround point in our journey. He's now on Tylenol every 4 hours and Advil every 6..that's it! Major cranial surgery 2 days ago and my boy is thriving on Tylenol..wow
Now he's settling in for the evening, curious to see how the night goes as it'll be his first without morphine (or monitors!) the nurse will be in at midnight & 4 am but won't have to wake him so, here we go! The end of day 3 and all I can say is this journey has been amazing and humbling. Here's to hopefully being released tomorrow before his FIRST BIRTHDAY on Sunday!!