..remembering..

today marks two years since my dad's passing from colon cancer. time has gone so fast and most days it feels like he has been gone for what feels like forever, while other days he still feels "here". I have his photograph in our home and i pause often just to think of him and wonder what piece of advice he could give me on my pathway thru this life.. lord knows I have wanted his advice many, many times since he's been gone..

i celebrate his life eagerly today, and every day. he wasn't a man who would have wanted any less. each day was a gift to him and he was sure to pass on that belief to everyone he'd meet. he was joyful..he loved life..and even in his last days he said he wouldn't have changed a thing. how many of us could say the same?! lately i have been thinking of what i have taken from his death because, well, losing someone like that so early has to mean something, no? and no, I don't have it all figured out..some days i'm merely scrambling to pick up the pieces of the day but what i do know for sure is that life is short..way too short. it's too short to hold on to things from the past and its definitely too short to waste your time worrying about what might happen someday in the future. 

what i do know is that last night, i stood watch over his grandson while he slept in his crib, as I do every night..and i worried that hudson wouldn't know his maternal grandpa and what i shame that was but then I realized that no.. my dad does know him and, through me, hudson will know who he was as well...a person of strength, love and light..

today I raise my glass to you daddio and i thank you for allowing me the privilege to have been your daughter. you were taken far too soon, although I truly believe no length of time would have ever been enough..

..forever and ever..my daddy you'll be..