Spring Weather

I woke up this morning with exactly 2 things on my mind:

1) Ugh, I REALLY don't feel like grouting anymore but at least today this project could very well be done, and;
2) I wonder why I've lost touch with my blog? I mean, I was doing so good last year before dad got sick..why have I truly lost my voice on here?

So here's how I'm dealing with both of these conundrums. I'm going to go downstairs and finish grouting, like I have been all weekend. But first, I'm going to sit & relax with my cup of coffee. And, I'm going to blog. 2 birds...1 stone.

Last night I was going thru some of my digital files of all the photos I had taken in 2012. Let me tell you, there were a LOT of photos taken! So many have never been shared with anyone, they were just taken and are quietly waiting in the corner until I turn my attention to them and give them a proper place to shine in our history. So many pictures caught me off guard when they involved my dad or things I wrote down about how much we were loving life last Summer..when we had no idea what was about to happen to us this Winter. It made me sad, but it also made me so happy..I'm so, so SO glad we got to just live so much of this last, precious time, without knowing..without wondering..without worrying. We just lived. And it was perfect

And that brings me to Friday night. After finishing a pail of grout with my inlaws, Adam and I ventured outside for our usual night-time chicken visits {every night, rain, snow or sun - we walk to the coop to collect any last minute eggs, close up the coop for the night then venture to the shop to sit and visit with our baby chicks before filling them up with fresh feed and water} and then I saw the sky. Down South from our yard we have stubble fields for as far as the eye can go. Its where I go on my daily walks and its also where you can sit and watch the most amazing weather "shows"

 

and when I saw this view, I knew our first Spring storm was coming and I knew I wanted to sit and watch it roll in. So I asked Adam if he minded venturing out for a little walk with me and away we went, into the deep dark sky. Before I knew it we were walking down the dirt road and I came alive with stories of Spring storms. You see, my mom is not a fan of thunder and lightning. She hid it quite well when I was little but she is a little *ahem* terrified of them..and rightfully so, they can be quite intimidating! But my dad and I? Now thats a different story! Every night in the Spring/Summer when a lightning storm when come upon us..dad would get so excited and we would head out to our covered deck and just watch for the next bolt of lightning and count down the seconds til we heard the loud crack of thunder. It left us with the biggest grins on our faces. We loved it..it made us come alive. And I even recounted the numerous times, once I developed an interest in photography where the lightning storms would come and dad would load me up in his truck and take me to an open space to let me practice my "skills" in photographing lightning..and I can tell you with 100% certainty that I have yet to get that picture! Dad would piss himself laughing at me..the lightning would strike and 2 seconds later, so would my shutter. Always 2 seconds behind..never once right on time. We laughed so hard..and to this day I still laugh about it. But it was one of our things we did together that I will always be so grateful for. And when a Spring storm comes upon me..it ignites these very same feelings..I still come alive with excitement and I still love to just sit and watch the clouds roll in..

 

 

Once we came to a nice spot with the perfect view, we found a dry patch in the ditch and sat down to really take in the show. The clouds were rolling in from the West and the thunder was easily a minute and a half behind each lightning bolt. But I gasped every time I saw lightning strike, its honestly so amazing to me. There wasn't a breath of wind in the air, the silence of the country was truly the perfect setting. At one point, a flock of mallard ducks flew 100 feet above our heads and it was honestly so quiet, all we could hear was the flapping of their wings as they flew overhead..trust me, if that doesn't make you feel a little spiritual, I just don't know what will!

Even the boys were in heaven, running and jumping thru the stubble, loving the warm Spring air

We sat and watched the storm for what felt like hours but, in all honesty, I believe we lasted only 45 minutes out there before the sun went beyond the horizon, the wind picked up and the rain began to fall. It was truly a beautiful way to spend our Friday evening together and the memories it stirred in me, warmed my heart.

So here's what I know for sure:
- I love Spring
- I love Spring storms, it signals that nature is waking up again after a long, cold Winter
- I love that growing up, all those storms I spent on the deck with my Daddio or in his truck, chasing a better view point, built me in to being the person you see today. I didn't know it at the time but those moments were forming me. They were instilling who I was to become and where I was coming from. A piece of who my dad was broke off and became a part of me as well. It was those small moments, all along. So next time you are with your child, your grandchild or even your spouse..just remember, it doesn't have to be big, expensive memories. No, in fact, its better if it isn't. If you take them outside after a Spring rain and jump in puddles or take them in to your garden and teach them how to plant, grow and pick a carrot, it might just be a quick laugh for you to enjoy and revel in, but for them? It could mean a world of difference..it could be building them in to who they will some day become..

Happy Monday everyone!

Ready for Spring

Hi my friends!

I don't know why I'm not blogging more but I have to admit..I've been busy. We are still under so much snow here at the farm that its hard to believe it actually is officially Spring now. This time last year we were working on farm machinery, getting things ready for seeding and buds were appearing on all our shrubs. This year..its cold, its still snowing and we are getting pretty anxious.

I know I for sure cannot wait to throw open our windows to let the fresh, Spring air in along with the chirping of some neighboring robins in the treetops below us..

 

Until then, we'll keep plugging away on the construction of my inlaws' monolithic dome that we currently reside in. At the moment, the 4,000 sq ft of tile are being laid and its a mighty big job..but its getting done!

 

 

As for me, I'm so far behind Project Life it isn't even funny. I currently have 4 weeks completed out of the 12 that I should have..ugh. And the truth is, I'm taking the pictures..I'm trying to stay afloat because I really do want to record this year for so many reasons..but I just can't seem to find the time. Its a goal of mine here in April to get fully caught up, so be on the look out for posts and updates!

 

Also, as per my previous post..I have some sweet little fluffballs in a brooder once again this year and I am loving them to bits. I have a post planned thats all about them but for now..here's a cute "watering hole" photo I took of them last night..

 

 

Talk soon friends!

An update on my dad & my 2013 One Little Word

Hi my friends!

Thank you so much for sticking with me thru the month of December! I know I wasn't posting near as much as usual nor was I posting anything festive likeI thought I would {December Favorites album?!} it's been an off-month to say the least! I had mentioned earlier that I was going to sit down to give an update on my dads health after his surgery on December 3rd but it's been crazy busy with the holidays and 8 hour days at the hospital. Truth is, I wasn't ready to talk about it. I'm not sure I am even now..but, I'm going to try...

On December 3rd at 7:45 am my Daddio was scheduled to go in for a major exploratory surgery to find any/all cancer tumors and remove them. You may remember from this post that dad was diagnosed with colon cancer 4 years ago, had chemo, radiation and eventually, a surgery that left him cancer free and with an ostomy bag. He went to all his check ups and tests and passed them all with flying colors! Then, in September of this year his gall bladder caused him so much pain they had to remove it. While in the OR, the surgeon spotted some suspicious cells, did a biopsy and it came back positive. My dads colon cancer had come out of remission. We did all the tests they requested and they all came back reassuringly positive that there wasn't much for cancer and that they'd be in, clean them out and he'd be good to go after a recovery of 2-3 weeks.

December 3rd at 9:30am my mom texted us to let us know that dad finally had been taken in to the ER and she was headed downstairs to begin the long, agonizing wait. What happened next made my heart stop, freeze in time and beg for mercy. At 11:00 am the phone rang. It was my aunty who was with my mom. They opened my dad and closed him right back up. There was nothing they could do. The cancer is a big mess that has spread like salt and pepper throughout his intestines and in to his liver. My dad went from cancer free to stage IV colon cancer in the blink of an eye. I couldn't believe my ears. I hung up the phone and lost myself in a blurry mess of tears and heaving. And the truth is, it hasn't quite stopped.

When my dad woke up they had to give him the news that there was nothing they could do for him. And, like the trooper he is, his response was, "well, we have a fight on our hands. Lets do it" and he hasn't lost hope yet! Adam and I arrived in Calgary the following day and it was so good to see him, smiling and happy to be alive. We talked and laughed and made the commitment that I hope any of you would if you we're in our position, to never give up.

What has followed has been 3 weeks of day long hospital visits, walks around the hospital floor,tears, laughter and facing our fears in the quietness of the night. My dad healed from his surgery but had yet to pass anything from his stomach to his ostomy bag so was put on a liquid IV diet with a strict No Drink/No Food policy. After a few days (almost a week before Christmas) they transferred my dad to our home town hospital where he remains to this day. He has yet to have any movements and therefore hasn't eaten anything in weeks.  But, at the very least, he's in our hometown!

The truth is, I don't know what will happen in 6 months, 1 year, tomorrow or even 1 hour from now. Everything is constantly in the air and we just sit...and wait for something positive. The truth is I can see how many people facing this diagnosis can grow fearful and give up. The hospital is a dreary place to spend your days and many doctors give you no hope, just doom and gloom. Can you imagine a doctor saying, "well, you just never know when its your time"...I mean, really? Thankfully, we are stronger than that. We hear those things and toss them back out to the universe because we will not let that get us down. We can't. We are strong. My dad is strong. And we have a lot of people behind us, supporting us along the way. I need my dad, he is far too young (55) and he deserves to live out a full life and witness his grandkids being born and grow. He deserves it and I won't stop til he gets it!

So this has been our ending to 2012. As you can tell, this is why Christmas was so hard for our family and why we can't wait for this year to be over! I'm so ready for 2013, its not even funny. I don't know what the new year will bring us but I'm going to face it with a fresh start and a peaceful mind..

 

and with that, I'd like to introduce my 2013 One Little Word: Brave. I decided to take Ali Edwards class OLW this year because my word holds so much meaning to me, especially in this time of my life.

 

brave

/brav/

 

adjective: Ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage

verb: endure or face (unpleasant conditions or behavior) without showing fear

 

 

In 2013 my word is "brave". I'm going to be brave for my family, for whatever faces us. I'm going to be brave when faced with situations that normally would make me fearful. I'm going to brave the adverse conditions, no matter what

I'm going to be brave and step out of my comfort zones..challenge myself to not be afraid, take the leap when I normally wouldn't. Scared of trying something new? Not this year..I'm going to be brave

I'm also going to be brave and force myself to really start my photography business. To bravely put my work on display and advertise that I'm available to work. Its going to be completely uncomfortable for me..but I'm going to put my word to good use and I'm just going to be brave..no matter what. Have you ever taken this class or created a word for your new year? If so, what was it/is it? I have decided to add the 8.5x11 monthly inserts to my PL album, put everything together for one year. How are you doing yours?

No matter where you are...I would like to wish you a very Happy New Year and all the best in 2013. See you next year friends!!

What I'm doing this weekend..

My 'Week 45; What I Want to Remember' post may be up a little later than usual this weekend as we are off to Saskatoon today for what I'm anticipating to be an amazing, memory filled 3 days. This week so far has been amazing, our 1st wedding anniversary was Monday, we have had some major progress on the house, Adam has surprised me more than once this week..and, as if it couldn't get any better..we are off to drive 4.5 hours to stay at this beautiful hotel..

honestly, isn't it gorgeous..

 

Last time we were here (January) we were in Saskatoon for a farm show..but this time, we're here more for me. Because I get to meet an idol of mine, I get to meet this girl:

 

 

Yup, I'm attending Crop & Create: Saskatoon and attending a couple of classes taught by the       Kelly Purkey..yup, that one. If you can't tell, I'm ridiculously excited for this. In fact, when I first read Kelly's blog this past Spring when she announced her upcoming classes, I am pretty sure I squealed a little and scared my hubby. And I remember that day distinctly because I read it while sitting on the sprayer with my farmer in a field out in the sticks. And when I told Adam about it and he agreed that we would go, I squealed again..

 

I have loved Kelly's work for a few years now..her work is amazing and every time I stop by her blog I'm inspired. Her talent is effortless and now that she has struck out on her own with an amazing line of stamps, I'm 100% behind her! I love what she comes up with every.single.release! And her first book {above} was just released last week..please, please go and check it out! I have studied it from cover to cover and walked away feeling ready to take on my stack of photos waiting to be scrapbooked.

 

So yes, I'm beyond excited for this weekend..no amount of snow could keep me away! And the best part? I have 2 classes, one tonight and one tomorrow night..and the rest of the time I get to hang out with my hubby and do whatever we want in the city {you can bet a stop or two at Starbucks for my first Peppermint Mocha in a red cup of the season will be on my list}This is going to be a weekend for the books folks, I can feel it already!

 

Gone Fishin'

Yup. You read that right..I'm gone fishin' this week. By the time you read this my husband has kidnapped me for a week of roughing it in the 'great outdoors' of the Northern Saskatchewan forrest. *sigh*

You see, my husband loves to fish and he loves going up North {aka: No Mans Land} because its quiet, peaceful, uncontaminated and the fishing is supposedly some of the best you'll ever see. He wants me to experience it for myself, he knows I'll love all the photographic opportunities I'll find myself in, and..I also told him I like to fish. Why did I do that, you ask? well..I did..when I was, like...10. Okay so I might still like it, you never know til you try it! Right??? Anyways, its too late now the bags are packed and we're on our way! With that being said, I have come up with a plan. A plan that will ensure I have a good time to matter what! Alright, you ready to hear my plan?? Okay....
I'm going to fish. And I mean really fish..give it an honest to goodness try and if I don't like it? Well then I'll know for sure...

 

And I'm going to take a lot of books so I can catch up on my reading on our down time..

 

 

I'm going to take refreshing 3 minute showers with lake water heated up on the wood burning stove..

 

 

I'm going to sit on a boat for 12 hours a day with my farmer, and dang it..I'm going to enjoy it!

 

 

I'm going to reconnect with wildlife..

 

 

I'm going to dip my toes in the pure glacier waters of Canada's True North...

 

 

I'm going to help prep lunches for the boys to bring on their boats..

 

 

and who knows. Maybe I'll even convince Adam to bring out his guitar so I can belt out some tunes by the old wood burning stove..

 

 

I mean, who knows! Maybe I'll really get in to this and want to swim with the fishies all.day.long!

 

 

Okay, so maybe that last one was a little bit sarcastic ;) But in all honesty. I'm going to really give this a try. If not for anything else, its for my husband. Because he loves it, he wants to take me with him and he deserves it. So..pray for me people..I'm in the land of outhouses, grizzly bears and shotguns..I may need a week of Michaels and glitter after this just to recover...

 

Time to be honest..

It was a few months ago, while out for a 2 mile walk, that I thought to myself " I need a challenge like this to walk 2 miles every day for the summer" .. do you remember that challenge?! Yeah, I don't either. Failed at that one, big time. Don't get me wrong, I do a lot of walking in my days..walk to the chicken coop, walk around our yard, down to the shop to visit Adam (we have about a 7 acre yard so I walk a pretty decent amount) but thats not the point. Nope. My goal was to walk an additional 2 miles every day, specifically for exercise..and I haven't held up my end of the bargain, not even close. I'd like to blame it on the garter snake I came across in April/May that has forced me to rarely walk down there again, but thats not true. Yes, I avoided it for quite some time but I do have other roads to walk down and I also do have a treadmill...

So, 304 in 152 is pretty much dead in the water..done. And I'm okay with that. I'm not built to hold on to these kinds of things and fuss about it. Instead, I just move on. I have never been one of those girls that could eat anything and get away with it. I've always had to be mindful of how much I ate or else it would creep up on me without much notice. But, since I met Adam I was blissfully unaware that I would try and match him, plate for plate of whatever he ate. He's a farmer with a big appetite folks and let be the first to tell you that in the last two years, I have officially gained 31 lbs...gulp, there it is. No, I didn't need to announce it to the world but I've got to be honest with myself, its the only way I'll deal with it. My annual physical was 2 weeks ago and, although I knew the number wasn't going to be pretty, I was still shocked when I stepped on the scale and she read that number out. Embarrassed and humiliated, I sat there in disbelief that someone else was now in on my secret..I'd let myself go. It ain't pretty and its a really hard journey, but I'm working on it. Every day I force myself up on our treadmill, I walk at least half an hour, I've cut back on my portions, I've cut back on my soda intake and increased my water intake ten fold...and I feel good. I'm lucky if I've lost 2 lbs yet, but I'm working on it. I have set a goal of 20 lbs by October and if I meet it, I'll be ecstatic. If I beat it? Well, even better!

So if, like me, you've found yourself a little heavier, a little rounder and a little depressed about it..please know you are most definitely not alone. We all go through it, we all struggle with it. Its best to be honest with yourself and work from there, and that is exactly what I am trying to do. Hopefully I can keep on track with my goal and when/if I do, I'll be sure to keep you in the loop on here. Some days I might even come on here just to celebrate a one pound loss, and I hope you will celebrate along side me!! Have a great Monday everyone! We are off to the lake this week for a much needed break before Harvest but I have some posts scheduled and I will be back next week!

love,
 dawn

24 hour Roadtrip

This past Sunday, Adam and I knew we needed to get away from the farm for a day and planned for a roadtrip to my childhood summer getaway, the lake! Adam worked all day and then around 7:30 that night we loaded up the truck, dropped Jake off at my inlaws and took off to surprise my family for a sleepover

We ended up on their doorstep around 10:15 pm and they were definitely surprised!! We stayed up til midnight visiting before crashing into a deep, heavy, much needed rest. In the morning we got up, sat on their deck drinking coffee and visiting before we got ready and headed out for breakfast at a beautiful club house on the golf course

Then it was time to part ways with my folks and head to the lake. Our trip there from the city only takes 45 mins, but let me tell you, it was full of reminscing! My thoughts turned back to my childhood and my family and my summer drives on this very road..it was actually more emotional than I thought it would be! Once we arrived at the lake, our first stop was to drive by my old family cabin. The "new" owners were in the driveway {I was really disappointed} so we couldn't stop to take it in and kept going til we hit the beach, where we stopped for a good idea to lay in the sand and enjoy the sun!

Once we had our fill of the beach, we went for a drive through out all the campgrounds {I pointed out all the stalls that I camped in with my grandparents' trailer as a child, I even pointed out the camping stall where I first fed a wild deer by hand!} and then returned to my old family cabin to find the owners had left and I quickly took my opportunity to snap a few quick photos before they had returned. I had seen a project online where people take old family photos, return to where the photos were taken and take a photo of both of them, bringing the past in to the here and now..I couldn't resist trying this with a photo of my late grandpa

Now, I was rushed {worried the new owners would come back} so I am a bit disappointed that it wasn't better lined up with the door and window, but hey..it makes the statement I wanted it to!! From there we headed to The Landing, a local restaurant that has been there for ages and hasn't changed a bit..and I love that it hasn't!

my lovely dinner guest..

We enjoyed a great supper before heading back on the road and making our way thru the Cypress Hills before heading home to the farm. Typically, when leaving the lake we turn left and take the 45 minute road back home to the city. But this time? This time we took a right and meandered thru some gorgeous country..

I mean, really?

I LOVE that this is so close to us. It feels as though its worlds away, but that is the beauty of Canada..its so diverse!!

This, by far, was the most refreshing road trips in history! 24 hours, 400 miles and it was something we desperately needed and didn't even realize it! We love our life on the farm but the truth is, living and working so closely with family can be hard and trying on any relationship, especially newlyweds! Not too often do we get a chance to do things, just the two of us. And when it was just us, we felt inspired, happy and kind of like we could breathe again...we needed it badly! We came back to the farm, refreshed and ready to go again. It was all we needed!!!

I plan on scrapbooking these photos in to a mini album of some sort, not sure yet but will post the album when it is completed. I took an assortment of IPhone photos, big girl camera photos as well as instant photos with my Instax that will be combined together in this album alongside wildflowers that I picked along our drive and dried them to place in the album! Can't wait to get this going!! Have a great weekend everyone!!

For the love of a dog..

I've often wondered if I was very different from other people because of my love of animals. No, I am not a "cat lady" with hundreds of cats around me nor do I find that behavior healthy..but I feel connected to animals in a way that is indescribable. They aren't just animals to me, they are family members, friends and sometimes even confidants.

There are many attributes about animals that I adore: they are friendly, loyal, funny, cuddly, forgiving, loving and patient. They offer a paw to hold when you need one, they lick away the tears when they are falling, they rejoice in your happiness and they offer protection when scared and worrysome. They truly are our best friends and for all these reasons and more..I have a love for them that not many could understand...

Which brings me to Jake..

Jake, is my baby. He's a soulmate if there ever was one. He & I are connected and bonded for life. I adopted him from the SPCA after he had just turned 3 and I loved him from the moment I laid eyes on him! When I ended a relationship that was most certainly not to be, I took Jake with me and never looked back. It is because of him that I felt 100% safe living on my own. Even the nights were never lonely because I knew he was there {most often on my bed}, snoring away and growling at any suspicious noise {furnace or not!}. He gave me love, friendship, protection and security and I will always be indebted to him.

Fast forward a year and there were new men in my life. Jake was always very cautious of whom I spent my time with, never letting them get too close or else showing them his disproval at every turn. On a few occasions, Jake would even jump up on the couch to put space between my date & I {a sure sign it was never going to work out between us}. But that all changed when I met Adam. Jake approved of him right away and every day I see my now husband fall more in love with the little guy, just like I have. It makes my heart swell with pride when I peek over and see my hubby on the floor with Jake, petting him and cuddling him {a huge feat for a farmer who previously believed all dogs belonged outside!}. It truly means the world to me!

Now, I'm not naieve, I know that the years are flying by and that my baby won't always be around for me to cuddle up with. And it breaks my heart to even think about it. In fact, I'm tearing up just typing this out. But he is still so active, happy and loving his life on the country that I know we still have a few good years left in our road together..

So whats this post about?! Nothing much..just wanted to talk about my baby, I guess. You see, Jake & I are a team..its been him and I against the world for a long time and wherever I am you can most certainly bet this little guy is right alongside me. Whether it be lounging in the shade while I garden, sleeping next to the chicken coop while I play with my chickens, sniffing the fresh air from the back of a truck bed while we go for a drive or snuggling up with me in the early mornings when its just he & I in an empty house. He's my beau bear and I guess I just wanted you all to get to know our love story a little better ;) Have a great weekend everyone! Adam, Jake & I are off to visit my family in the city this weekend. It is my maternal grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary and we are celebrating their big day with them..see you all back here on Monday!!!

The Magic of Silence

Yesterday was not a good day. In fact, it was a bad one. Life lessons, learning curves, frustration, politics - you name it, we dealt with it. There were a few moments that I just wanted to break down and cry and, in fact, some times I did! It wasn't anything life changing by any means. It was just hard and difficult and wearing on the soul. And then, to add insult to our already wounded selves, we were pulled over and given a speeding ticket for driving 12 over the speed limit not ten minutes from our farm. It was brutal and talk about hit after hit!

After supper, our nerves were frazzled and we were both exhausted but figured a quick trip to the coop would lighten our mood - wrong!! As I was carrying around one of my babies, Adam got too close to me driving his golf cart and when he went whizzing by me he scared the chicken, it flew up out of my hands and I caught her right before she became a snack for awaiting jaws below. Of course I lost it and yelled something *very* unlady-like before rushing her in the coop and placing her back under cover. {I hate when I let things get to me like that} Then, Adam picked up another one of my babies and needed to adjust the way he was holding it so came up with the genius idea of setting it on the ground and, once again, it was seconds away from becoming dinner to our golden retriever, and I was livid. Needless to say, the coop door was closed seconds later!!

It was then that I decided I needed a little walk, a little silence, a little time to clear my head.
You see, I've gotten to know myself pretty good these past 28 years and I happen to know I treasure silence, I long for solitude and I crave peace and quiet after especially hard days. Adam drove his golf cart alongside me, feeling horrible for the past events. What a sight we must have been, me walking, him driving the cart and us holding hands in silence. But thats when the magic happened..

Our dugout

We ended up at our dugout, the clouds were rolling in, the millions of frogs we have were singing and everything else was quiet. No noise, no construction, no talking..just listening. I sat down on the ground, Adam and our dogs beside me, and we just listened. Birds of all different species were singing all around us..and I slowly felt more relaxed. Ducks would fly over our heads but the only noise we could hear was the wind created by their flapping wings and then the little *splash* that came about when they landed in our dugout for a swim. Just watching them dance gracefully on the water made things seem so much better! And then the lightning came..

Photo Credit

Living out in the country, if you like storms, you are in luck. There are no concrete buildings blocking your view, no noisy traffic stopping you from hearing every rumble of thunder..its just you and nature..just like it should be. We sat in awe of the living sky, every burst of lightning made me catch my breath. It was so beautiful! It was at this moment I felt calm again, even content with the events of my day. Funny how being connected to nature can do that for you..
And then, after sitting there for awhile and watching the storm roll in, we watched the rain fall from afar, get closer, start sprinkling at the edge of the dugout and make its way to us..talk about neat watching the rain clouds come closer and closer. Of course we scurried home in the downpour and loved every moment of it. Then we made our way inside, fell in to bed and called it a day..